they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
