i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
