I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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