I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
