I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
