So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
