Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
