I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
