I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
