absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
