so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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