Me too!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
