You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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