one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he fucked my hip out of place.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
