Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
