The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
