I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
