Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
