ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
