I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
