I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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