I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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