the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
