what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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