my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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