STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
