I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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