I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
