I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
