I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
