why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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