Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
