so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
