they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
