Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
