Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
