Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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