I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
