but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
