I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
