He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
