so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
