i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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