And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
