That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
