So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
