was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
