Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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