If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sext me about skeletons
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
