My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
