so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
